Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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