it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
