no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
