Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
