you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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