My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize