How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
