Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
