Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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