Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
