Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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