He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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