remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
