So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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