Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
