Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
