She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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