I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
