If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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