We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
