carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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