when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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