trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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