A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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