420 ftw
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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