12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize