Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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