Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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