4 words: hood of his car
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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