one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
