Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
