I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
this hospital has no fireball
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
