Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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