I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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