yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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