Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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