My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I want her autograph on my taint
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
