So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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