I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
