how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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