Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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