wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
