the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
