Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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