dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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