If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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