I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
