let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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