the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
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A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
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You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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