just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
