My brain says no but my pants say off.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
