I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
