if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
