so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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