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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....

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  The baked potato bra?

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• (212): View more from New York

  LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(

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• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight

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• (207): View more from Maine

  WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you

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