You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
