i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.