he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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