Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?