it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
